how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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