He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
We got so high we made milksteak
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Randomize
