In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
