I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
