Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
Randomize
