She's JV to your varsity
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Dear god my vagina.
Randomize
