Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
