I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
Randomize
