Well apparently he's into motor boating.
So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
i wish i could tell you the night didnt begin with me drinking alone
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize