that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
Randomize
