He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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