This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
