I accidentally had phone sex last night
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize