I look better un-naked...
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
