fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
Randomize