so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
