Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
nutella sex= disaster
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
The bag I'm bringing home for the weekend: a change of clothes, workout shoes, and sex toys, that's it.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
