I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
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