You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Randomize
