OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
found the other keg... it's in the tree
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
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