So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I’ve got full Covid immunity, blonde hair and great tits! I’m basically unstoppable
Randomize
