I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
The adults are the big ones right?
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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