found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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