Whod you bang
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize