im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
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