How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Fire trucks are here again. It wasn't me this time.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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