Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Multitasking record: pooping whilst putting on shoes and cleaning ear with q-tip. All while texting.
Update: fell off toilet, one shoe on, q-tip still in ear. Not a pro.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize
