The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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