I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
