he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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