Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Randomize
