A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I will die if light touches me.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
