Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
So mom called me from the hospital laughing her ass off. Apparently my sister is allergic to cocaine...
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
I believe in your delicious
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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