the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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