This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize