Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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