Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
Randomize
