My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize