Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
