Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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