please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
My toothbrush tastes like captain morgan
I'm jealous
Randomize
