There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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