what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
When I got to his place, he served wine and cheese and made me sit on the balcony while he read his poetry to me. He cockblocked himself.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
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