he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
STOP SETTING ME UP WITH GUYS YOU MEET ON CRAIGSLIST
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
