all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I need a beard to bite.
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize