the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
Just took a piss in some random bushes in a traffic jam and had to sprint back to the car. I'm a boss.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
