I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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