I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
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