Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
