A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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