Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
Randomize