Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Help. Why am I so naked?
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
I was trying not to blow up your phone, but I'm so horny I think I might die
Randomize
