im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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