Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
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