Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
Randomize
