we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
