The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
