It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
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