Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
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