I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
