the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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