Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
I was shitfaced. I filled my contact case WITH TANNING LOTION
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
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